my archive of thoughts...

me and my cup of coffee...

me and my cup of coffee used to be an indulgence... often enjoyed with sheer delight to the last drop. often times indulged in one of my coffee spot of the moment... which (thanks to the advent of coffee aficionados) have been painstakingly created to look and feel like an extension of my living room or even my bedroom with the finest jazz music flowing in the background.

me and my cup of coffee used to be an escape... to reality, to problems, to responsibilities and work... to anything i wanted to escape from. the coffee shop my hideaway... and my cup of coffee my refuge. i can just get lost with my thoughts and daydreams... be in another place, in another time with the company of my cup of coffee...

me and my cup of coffee used to be a brainstorming session when enjoyed with the company of my friends... over a friend's overwhelming lovelife, on somebody's new hairstyle...on anything and everything under the sun. i used to escape in a coffee shop in 6750 makati when i needed an inspiration for a new design when i used to work in a design job some years ago. seemed like my thoughts clear and work better when i have a rendezvous with my cup of coffee.

these days... me and my cup of coffee have sadly became an errand. often forcibly accomplished on the run... to work, while doing shopping or grocery, while getting ready for work or in between paperwork and treatments. it's aroma never enjoyed and taste not even savored... just drowned in a big gulp making sure it is done and over with... so i could proceed to what i was doing or what i was gonna do next.

that is the story of me and my cup of coffee... i hope one day, we will be able to enjoy each other's company like we used to.

P.S. and pretty please... can someone teach these americans to relax! they are just driving me nuts!!!

my love...

i don't even know how to begin this....

i love your honesty and your loyalty.

i admire your caring attitude and your great concern for me and even my friends. i am totally amazed at how you care for your friends and your loved ones... you spoil them even at your expense...

i miss how i can totally talk to you and never be misjudged and criticized... no matter how stupid and absurd i may sound... yet you still listen with all your heart...

i enjoy your childlike attitude and your hearty laughs... your goofy character... your smile that never failed to make my days bright..

i miss watching you dance with all your might or sing with all your heart...

indeed you love me and care for me for all that i am...

yet, i am letting you go...

love... by kahlil gibran

when love beckons to you, follow him,

though his ways are hard and steep.

and when his wings enfold you yield to him,

though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.

and when he speaks to you believe in him,

though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays

waste the garden.

for even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. even as he is for

your growth so is he for your pruning.

even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches

that quiver in the sun,

so shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

like sheavers of corn he gathers you unto himself.

he threshes you to make you naked.

he shifts you to free you from your husks.

he grinds you to whiteness.

he kneads you until you are pliant;

and then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred

bread for God's sacred feast.

all these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your

heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.

for if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,

then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of

love's threshing- floor.

into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter,

and weep, but not all of your tears.

love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.

love posseses not nor wuld it be possesed;

for love is sufficient unto itself.

love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.

but if you love and must needs have desire, let these be your desires:

to melt and be like a running brook that sing its melody to the night.

to know the pain of too much tenderness.

to be wounded by your own understanding of love;

and to bleed willingly and joyfully.

to wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for

another day of loving;

to rest at the noon hour and meditate at love's ecstacy;

to return home at eventide with gratitude;

and then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song

of praise upon your lips.

                                                                              THE PROPHET by Kahlil Gibran

insomnia

i don't even know what to write about... but my mind is just going. my body is dead tired... had a long day at work and barely had sleep lastnight. had some benadryl for my allergy which i am hoping would kick in soon and put me to sleep...

why do we keeps on choosing to follow the difficult path in life? is it because we needed a good challenge to keep the blood going or are we just afraid to get dead- bored? yet when we are  caught in the middle of all the chaos and confusion from something that we barely had any idea about but we tried it anyways... we fuss and regret why we even went that way. funny... when everything seems to be falling into the right places... we don't even see and appreciate it until it's all gone.

such is life

"such is life", a friend of mine always says... life is really amazing! we'll that's how i see mine. really depends whether you want to see life on the positive or negative side. i've always been an optimist. don't know how and where i got it ( my mom is my complete opposite),but i've always believed in the good that comes out from bad experiences or that something good awaits you at the end of a big problem or ordeal... the sun always comes out after the rain so they say...

don't get me wrong... i've had a few ordeals recently that i thought i woudn't be able to come out of it... yet my faith and my positive attitude stood by me when i needed it. it was tough keeping myself composed even when you fear that life could have possibly ended right there and then but then when you get over it... it feels like you've been given a new lease to life. after all this is just a borrowed life.

i'd like to think that i've been so blessed. i don't have everything but i have all that i need and more that i could ask for. i've been given trials that i could overcome and problems that made me strong. friends and family are always there for me through whatever times and never fails to remind me that they care.

life is good... i couldn't complain.

some more thoughts....

i didn't know people would care to read what i write... am just surprised that you guys do and care to post your comments. thanks! thoughts just pour out and i just have to write it down so i could figure them out... sometimes it still leaves me confused as ever.

just realized that when you get older your decisions become so important... like there's no room for mistakes. gone were the days when you can just make a decision in a blink... make yourself look crazy... and still get away with it with a cute smile and say... "ohh boy! was i that wrong!" nowadays... you either bask in the praise of significant people in your lives for choosing to do the right thing or suffer from it and declare a self assylum hoping people will not see you in your worst situation. i guess i am just getting old... i hate to admit it but then it smacks me in the face everyday.  why am i so obsessed with these thoughts lately... i wonder?

going back to that thought of decisions and right or wrong... i guess we do make right or wrong decisions... but then we do end up learning from such decisions which makes every right and wrong decisions just as equally important. like if anyone asks me if i have any regrets in life that makes me wish i could go back in time to redo it all over again... nothing comes to mind. i did have my share of painful experiences but that shaped my character and made me stronger... if i had to live life all over again... i'd live it the way it is!

thoughts...

life is what we make it... so they say. we live life according to the choices we make... may it be a thought over decision or an impulsive out of the blue thing... we make life everyday according to which path we decide to take... conscious or unconscious... but never right or wrong.

lessons learned and experiences gained

people and circumstances bring about important life lessons that needs to be learned... could make or break you... but life goes on whether or not you may want to deal wih it or not... time passes by whether you did something or not... hearts may be broken... but lessons have to be learned...